I think that it depends. Sometimes talking about something can mean that you think about it more... I guess the idea is that if you talk about it and that goes okay then you won't feel so embarrassed / ashamed / distressed when you are thinking about it, though. I often think that most of the power of fantasies is in the embarrassed / ashamed / distressed feelings that we have around them. If we don't feel that way about them then often the fantasies tend to lessen in frequency. (Kind of like how if you keep telling yourself 'I'm NOT going to think about oranges, I'm NOT going to think about oranges) then precisely in virtue of trying not to.... YOu find yourself thinking about oranges. Whereas if you don't care whether you are thinking about oranges or not... Then you hardly ever think about oranges lol.

Another aspect is that sometimes the longings / desires / what we get out of our fantasies... Is something that can be quite hard to figure. If we can figure what need / desire / longing the fantasy serves... If we can trace the origins of that need / desire / longing and see it as an understandable response (so we aren't distressed by it) then sometimes we can figure alternative ways of meeting those needs. Maybe there are things we can do to get them better met IRL (with the relationships we do have) or maybe... The longings simply won't seem so powerful as we understand their origins.

Dunno, though. Sometimes I think... That I need to grieve.