im not so keen on the labels. 'cause people say 'borderlines do this and borderlines do that' and the trouble is that i don't do some of that - even though i'm supposedly borderline.

its kinda like how there are stereotypes about gender...
and there are stereotypes about race...
and there are stereotypes about age...
and there are stereotypes about mental illness in general...
and there are stereotypes about borderline personality disorder.

people have a natural inclination / tendency to classify and categorise different kinds of thing...

it can be helpful / useful when instances of a category have a lot of features in common.

it can be positively harmful when instances of a category don't have a lot of features in common but when people ASSUME that since the individual is a member of the category they MUST have these features...

it can be harmful in the case of nationality (the assumptions we make about personality characteristics)
it can be harmful in the case of race
it can be harmful in the case of gender (get back in the kitchen woman)
it can be harmful in the case of borderline personality disorder.

i looked far and wide to find a characterisation of some of the things that i struggled with that wasn't unnecessarily judgemental and condemnatory. i worried a lot that i was in denial or was self deluded for not 'facing up' to some of hte negative characterisations that have been offered about what is meant to be wrong with people with borderline personality disorder.

i'm not a diagnosis. i'm not a 'typical' anything. i'm a person. a PERSON. and i'd rather people view me as a person (and I'd rather view myself as a person) than a typical instance of mental illness (or a gender or a racial group or whatever). i refuse to let the stereotypes and prejudices and assumptions limit me.

you ask 'how come people don't like borderlines'? part of the reason (insofar as clinicians and people who read what the clinicians have to say are concerned) its because of the assumptions that people with borderline personality are malevolent and have an innate agression and because they are black and white thinkers and so on and so forth. when i read those characterisations i started to hate me (and other people with the dx) too.

but maybe what your issue is really... is that you feel like people hate you. and it is easier to think that they hate your category than your person?

i don't hate your person.
i hate the BPD label for what it does to people...