Thanks, Divine. I'm really glad the problem isn't in my head. My boyfriend acts confused as to why there's a problem!

I guess part of it is probably loneliness. I have a very hard time connecting with others and usually don't have friends. I've been that way since I was a child.

I guess another part is because my parents were very abusive towards each other, and I thought since I and my boyfriend didn't fight, we must have a great relationship.

I do remember once when we were hanging around his friend, let's call him "A," A was watching how Matt and I interacted and just didn't seem too pleased. At one point he muttered out loud, "****ing miracle," and was telling Matt he should be helping me with this or that or to "be a gentleman." It made me a bit sad to see that. His friend has actually been in a serious relationship for a lot longer than us and always seemed to care about his girlfriend way more than my boyfriend cares about me.

How should a relationship be? I thought this was just normal after almost 2 years together.

If we do break up, I will miss the friendly banter and good times.

After thinking about it, the hardest part would be telling him I want to break up. He'll be so sad. I never want to put someone I love through that. But I will if I have to.