I can also relate completely to missing the feeling of hypomania so much. It's like once you've experienced that high feeling, there's no taking that back. Almost like drug addiction in a way...you crave that high, but you know it's bad for you. I wish I never felt hypomania so that I would know what it's like to have the "normal" highs and lows. Now, it's about adjusting to the reality that it's much better to be "even" and grounded and learn to be happy with that and sacrifice the illusion of happiness hypomania can bring during those moments of bliss. I try to remember that hypomania only brings destruction and poor decisions, and that helps me cope with those feelings a little bit: knowing it's not all that it's cracked up to be.

There are so many BP meds out there. I know a lot of people who complain of Lithium giving them that "dull" feeling at first, but many feel better over time. Since you have been newly diagnosed, just keep in mind it sometimes takes a while before you find a combo of meds that's right for you, but there's so much out there. A good pdoc will surely help you find what will help you feel better. *Hugs*