Hi everyone.
I'm sorry to do such a long post straight off, but I'm really in need of some advice if possible please.
I've had M.E & Fibro for the last 14 years, since I was 24. I also have severe Agoraphobia, Osteopaenia & Osteoarthritis.

For about 10-11 years I've also had a serious addiction to a prescription sleeping drug called Zopiclone.
For some reason after a year or so on this drug, the effects reversed to the point that it actually gave me the energy to do "Normal" things. It served as an incredibly effective painkiller & relaxant.

I've now managed to stay clean of this hideous drug for the last 188 days, unfortunately now I have nothing to mask the pain & it & the Agoraphobia's intensified.
It's my birthday next week, and my best friend announced that she's booked a half day at a spa for us both.
I know it's a really nice, kind thing to do - but I said politely that although I appreciate her being kind & I in no way want her to think I'm being ungrateful, there's no way I can do it unless I take the Zopiclone.

She said that she was surprised I was saying I couldn't do it because "It's Not Like We're Doing Anything Strenuous, I'm Not Going To Do Laps Of The Pool - Just Laze In It", "I Know You Had A Bad Turn Recently, But You'd Done A Lot - It's Just A Case Of Trying To Pace Yourself" "Well, It'll Relax You & Make You Feel Better!!"

She even said she would give me Zopiclone.

Then when I said I was panicking because she'd shelled out the money for something that I couldn't do, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the day, then messaged to say "It's Fine, I've Managed To Get A Refund, I Didn't Mean To Stress You Out - I'll Have To Go Back To The Drawing Board Now?!"

I feel devastated that I'm now in the position of feeling like an ungrateful, awkward person, when all she was doing was something good for me... I can't help but feel like she's implied that I somehow have control over my body & that I'm just CHOOSING to not do this.

She's my closest friend & I really thought she understood how serious my conditions are, but now I feel like she doesn't get it at all. She didn't even ask if I'd be up to it, booked it even though she knows that I can't even set foot in my own garden 99% of the time, knows I'm in really bad shape physically...

By saying "It's Just A Case Of Trying To Pace Yourself" & "I'm Surprised, Because It's Not Like We're Doing Anything Strenuous" I feel like she's discounting my 14 year struggle, that all my explanations over the years of how my body feels have been pointless, that she thinks somehow I have control over my illnesses. :'(

What I'd like to know is, am I just being over - sensitive??? (I'm a straight up person & I don't take offence easily, all honesty is appreciated.)
Thanks for having the patience to read this & I'd welcome all/any opinion.
Lei xxx