Its not that . it's that 1. She won't even see my message til tomorrow because she never looks at her phone at night and
2. Not sure if I want/deserve help.

I've decided

TRIGGER***********************#




That trying to starve myself or whatever is pointless. Between my mito and my long history of eating disorder behavior I get sick way before I get thin.

So the only solution to my worthlessness and disgusting body is suicide.

If I am going to go that route, therapy is an impediment

So....maybe I should just quit trying.

I'm no good at therapy any way