BayBrony, I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I don't really know anything about horses, but I'm willing to bet that they wouldn't let you work with them if they weren't okay with your physical self / energy / demeanor / behavior. So that "disgusting body" as you put it helps you take care of animals, which is a wonderful thing. (Me, I don't even like to be around animals bigger than me and I think maybe they can tell. ) I hope you feel better soon.