I'm still very down, low energy, feeling bad about myself, all, I had thought, for no apparent reason. Today I realized the reason and you can add pi**** off to the above list. I have been titrating down Seroquel -with pdoc's approval, though I've been insistent- which had been increased when I had a depressive episode a few months ago.

Whenever I titrate down that med I relapse. Just about every. single. time. If I had been hypomanic, I relapse into that, depression, relapse into that, even if the titration is very slow, which it always had been.

So I'm increasing it to the old dose starting tonight and will continue on it (I think) until I next see my pdoc in a month. I'm so so pissed and sad. I'm sick and tired of meds, meds which in and of themselves can lead to episodes!

I pushed through before to get it to a very low dose pre-previous-depression and hope to once again, with the guidance of my pdoc; in this particular case I don't feel comfortable doing anything else on my own except going back up to the previous dose. I hope we can figure out a way for me to push through a titration again without me relapsing. I. Hate. This.