i'm just so disgusted with everything. the last few nights have been among the worst in a long time. my mom won't stop treating me like ****. i finally screamed at her and she apologized. i told her i want to die. i want to take both of her bottles of pills and fall asleep. i told her and she didn't seem all too worried by that. i'm just so tired. i don't want to die but nothing gets better. i have no drive. i have not the energy to improve my life, only to destroy it. i'm so profoundly lonely and unloved. i can't do this anymore. i really can't. i don't want to. but i think i will just go to sleep. my dad is home.