Thanks for advices and feedback. Wake up this moring still not able to calm down. Took lectopam I have for these cases, did not help much. Feeling agitated.

Innerzone
Thanks for the in-depth questions.

About the potential add-on job
I would have to dedicate 8 yours a day. Quitting would be easy on first 3 monthes even on a whip. I need money, but I can manage without it, at least for now. Next year is still foggy.

In regards to trying to balance the potential job with the current:
They just would not find out. I've worked here for a decade and noone has ever checked what I actually do. I'm on my own room, as far as I handle in work within deadlines, everything is fine. If I lost the job, it would be a disaster. No similar job opportunities for my very specific education given I'm on rural area. Other fields nearby have lower salaries.

Downfall is the last question - If I did not work at the current job hours, I would be overwhelmed. I cannot work for long hours for extended time. I guess I now believe I'm stronger than I actually am. My current job kills all the energy in me every now and then. I have to take in consideration that I have bipolar disorder. I need to care for my mental stability.
I think I'm relying on my past experience when I was lot younger and I could handle school perfectly, have many extra-curriculum activities and manage that all, but hey, it all has ended up with health problems.