Thank you. I appreciate your input.
Everything you said is very true.
I know the facts, really i do.

I talk openly about this with my t and i acknowledge that right now I'm choosing what is probably not best for me.

I have left bad relationships before. One i was longer in than this and the bs made me no longer love him.

That just hasn't happened here and im dealing with someone who has his own demons so i do feel very different. There is this connection. I can't explain it. I have never had it. Maybe it's all caused by mental illness maybe not. That part i don't know.

When i was alone i had the best few years of my life.

Just something that keeps me connected here for either good or bad reasons.

I get super anxious sharing anything about myself. If i could delete all my posts from the past i would. Kinda wish you didn't bring that up but you wanted to share your thoughts on that.

Just recently shared in a thread and panicked a day later hoping i could erase it.

Anxiety of course being on the laundry list of my issues.