Thread: Am I an idiot?
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Old Aug 08, 2016, 12:22 PM
hazn hazn is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 290
Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
First thing that came to mind here Pikku. Thing is there are two things to be careful of here. First that he's not wanting to be with you in order to be a rescuer. Some guys (even myself so I speak from experience) try to be a white knight in a way and are drawn to those that need help because if we can be the one to "save them" it gives us our "value" It is in and of itself, a dysfunction the same as wanting to be with someone because they are wanting to save us. It's a very real dynamic.
Did you figure out how to change this behavior? I identified it in myself some time ago and I've been working on changing my thinking so it's no longer a thing for me, but I think it's still probably there. I mean, logically I know it's not right and I know it's not what I want for myself, but I still feel like it's there waiting to be triggered. It's a very neurotic and unhealthy way of relating to others. It's also weird for me in that on one hand I want to be that person for someone, whilst at the same time I kind of want them to be that person for me. Very contradictory. If you have any advice would really appreciate if you could drop me a PM or something.

Sorry for going off topic OP.