Calm down first of all. I understand this urge to die. It will pass, it is your anxiety........BPDs are good at getting really stressed, really fast.

When it happens with me, I have overwhelming feelings and it is next to impossible for me to think clearly. But you are doing fine while you're posting. You need to focus on something else.........concentrate very hard on whatever it is.

I usually try to close my eyes and think about something pleasant. It takes a lot of effort to get those feelings to subside. My former T was awesome and getting thru to me and having me do this.

I'm around if it would help - I can be in chat if you want.

Mary Alice