Thanks for all the sympathy last night re my friend. I know that the default reaction is always "It's not your fault, it's theirs", but nobody is at fault here. I'm just too much. And I shouldn't be saying even this much, it's as if I am betraying them. It's just that I've been sad about this for about eight weeks now.

Anyway, it's just how things are. People have been asking me several times on this and the previous couch how they can help or support me... I do appreciate the question, after all I'm the one who's always blathering on about how we're all individuals, even the weird old guy in the back, but I have been thinking and cogitating and pondering and I truly don't know. It's like defining science fiction - there's no one good definition, but when you're reading a sf novel you know that it is sf, even though somebody else might not agree.

If that makes sense.