I do this ALOT! It's that awful stuck on stupid feeling...otherwise known as Rumination. Rumination is on the long list of cognitive distortions.Many MH issues suffer from this merry-go-round, wish I has done that differently kinda thought process. Even those not dxd w/ a MI are proven to this from time to time...it's just another one of those ways our minds find to beat us up. ...
As far as the having conversations w/ self outloud...also something that everyone does on occasion. For myself, I have a tendency to do this alot. I dissociative either completely or just get lost in my thoughts and find that I talk / think/ argue etc w/myself outloud. Alone or in public also even when somewhat aware...I will find myself doing this....at the mild end, I might just be mouthing words or almost inaudibly mumbling
.but it usually also includes hand gestures ...
I get really embarrassed by the uncomfortable looks I get from other ppl when I do this, but more and more I find I can not stop it until whatever is going on upstairs plays out in full! I used to explain it as don't worry or feel rude walking away if I'm rambling bc it's probably not anything important I an trying to say to you...it's just that if I start a thought out loud I have to finish it out loud or else it will be stuck floating around in my head all day. Now mostly I think it is still like that, but now it gets worse when it happens in public..cuz, when I am startled and embarrassed by others noticing...then, it changes completely into a two way conversation btwn myself and another part of myself berating and defending and arguing..stop doing that!..ppl are looking at you like your crazy!! Just keep your mouth shut!! STOP.NOW.....otherside.. I know. You don't need to tell me! I know I m crazy! I'm trying to stop. Stop talking to me and I'll stop responding! Etc....