Do you ever sleep? I finally got to sleep and just got back up. Anyway...

That event I was talking about at the T's office was one of the deepest dissociations I had been in. That day we had gone over a lot of stuff. When we finished I said "we have gone over a lot of stuff" and then it hit me. The T tried to get me to find all things blue in the room. I don't remember what I found, but I got in my car and drove to Lowes Home Improvement and didn't remember driving there or why I was there. When I went into Lowes I kept looking for Blue things, after walking around in there for a while I finally grounded and went home and went to sleep. I was so mentally exhausted.
Now my dissociation just seems to be short burst, I think. You know sometimes I can feel it coming on a little bit, then sometimes I don't know it happened until I'm coming out of it.
It happens more frequently than I think, I expect. Being here alone it just doesn't matter. I do wish there was an answer to it. I should feel safe in my own home.