i definitely can relate to this. i tend to doubt it more when things aren't actively happening. recently, i've seen the psychiatrist more. i have figured out that a younger part is more attached to her than i even might be, and she feels calm when we are there. but once we leave, she gets really on edge, anxious, scared, etc.

recently, this happened again because the time between appointments has been longer. she wanted me to email the psychiatrist on her behalf (she doesn't come out and/or talk to people). and in that moment, i was just confused because had an opposite situation a few weeks prior. so, i didn't do what would have helped her. since then, there has been a lot of anxiety and panic, but i cannot tell if it's from her or not. i recently did email the psychiatrist and am hoping a response will help calm this particular part down. if so, it would have been easier if i would have just emailed her when the part wanted me to.

when things like that happens...i get confused..i feel like i must just be making things up or something...but it's hard when a therapist believes they are real and knows they are...so..it's kind of harder to deny it then.

i always feel really awkward when i talk about them with the psychiatrist...but i also know some of them are there and watching/listening because when she asked how things were inside at the last session, someone was shocked at the question and felt scared, like they had been seen or something.

it's pretty normal, i think, to doubt all of this...it's just how it goes...i still struggle with accepting and knowing just cuz my system is more hidden...including from me..but i feel them at times, and their feelings and stuff affect me.