Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
My T had no idea I was triggered before she got my email. She purposely didn't write back until Friday. She said she was angry because I was rude and I need to realize she's human. She wants me to think before I spout out my feelings to her, and to others. I do sometimes react like that with others but mostly with her.
She said it would be fine to talk about the triggers in the session. We did. I CAN comfort myself, she said. She asked what DBT skills I could use. I said radical acceptance for her not being my friend and being my T. I asked her to say that to me. She did, but added that she cares about me. I said my head knows the reality but my heart doesn't.
I said it's because she's too friendly and she said if my style isn't good for you.... I cut her off the I think, said I am not going to quit.
She had me close my eyes and talk about how I felt last when I saw her. Like she hit me, I said. She left me alone. Didn't want me. How it was like when I wasn't in the family movies because I wasn't born yet.
At some point, she said, and I agreed, that she oops, I have a friend over, will continue later.
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I know you're not done writing about the session, but one thing in the beginning jumped out at me. That she said she was angry at you. Did she mean she didn't write back until Friday because she was angry? Both my T and marriage counselor have said before that I shouldn't worry about their feelings. Like I can tell them that they upset me or that I'm annoyed with them or whatever, and I don't need to be concerned with their reaction to it. Like I shouldn't be like, "I don't want to hurt your feelings." Because that's one of the huge differences between the T-client relationship and a friendship. In a friendship, you *should* worry about the other person's feelings. But with a T, at least from my understanding, you don't have that obligation (of course I still worry about hurting their feelings or them being angry at me, because that's just how I am).
So it seems like, here at least, she's letting her feelings interfere with your therapy, like maybe a countertransference thing? Won't say any more till you write about the rest of your session, but that just grabbed me.