I took one of them but i dont think i can anymore i spent the whole night lookong for ways to kill myself and they nearly sent me back to the other more secure ward they gave me vallium and lorazepam and tamazepam and i now have to have a nurse with me all the time. I am supposed to see the doctors soon. I feel horrible i ruined everything there is literally no way out of here that doesnt involve mass murder and if i crossed that line i think i would just make things more difficult.