when i was young i was beat so bad with a hair brush my back end bleed. Could not sit for weeks. Other things in my family happened, that like everyone else I like to keep it hidden. Sometimes it causes me great pain to think back. So I really do understand your hurt.
I was neglected somewhat you could say. Ate paint at 2, run over by a car at 4. somewheres in there drank a whole table of whiskey sours. Because no one was watching me.
Sorry this is coming out disjointed as I really have tryed to put it in the past.
I was never the good child always the bad one. Never lived up to everyone expectations. That was theres thou. I lived up to mine. Still hurt thou.
In the end as you know I was the one to take care of them. I am in my heart glad I was able to be with them in their end days. Left me with more issues to deal with, but thats life. My dad was not so nice at the end.
When I was 16 I was abused physically and mentally by a man. This went on for at least 7 years or more. He was a drunk.To this day I can not really take to much yelling, And yes the past follows me. I have tryed to forgive myself first and them last.
As petunia says every now and then it comes back.
I just wanted you to know you are not alone and i understand.
The one thing i have decided is I can not change what happened"wish i could" I can not fix it"wish i could" I can only try to let it go in my head.
Which I know is a hard thing to do..............

did therapy years ago...........it helped