Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I know you're not done writing about the session, but one thing in the beginning jumped out at me. That she said she was angry at you. Did she mean she didn't write back until Friday because she was angry? Both my T and marriage counselor have said before that I shouldn't worry about their feelings. Like I can tell them that they upset me or that I'm annoyed with them or whatever, and I don't need to be concerned with their reaction to it. Like I shouldn't be like, "I don't want to hurt your feelings." Because that's one of the huge differences between the T-client relationship and a friendship. In a friendship, you *should* worry about the other person's feelings. But with a T, at least from my understanding, you don't have that obligation (of course I still worry about hurting their feelings or them being angry at me, because that's just how I am).
So it seems like, here at least, she's letting her feelings interfere with your therapy, like maybe a countertransference thing? Won't say any more till you write about the rest of your session, but that just grabbed me.
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Thanks. LT. You know, it's hard to explain unless you are in the room with someone, what the session is exactly. In fact, I did tell T that she's not supposed to get angry. That's when she said she's human.
The reason she said that is because I know it's not healthy or mature for me to spout off a critical email about her without even thinking about it. I've done it before and that's one reason she wanted to stop emails. I told her I wanted her to do something about my reaction because I was hurt. She said I have to do it, not her. I have to use DBT or something else so I can control my outbursts. To settle myself before I react. She said it's fine to talk about being triggered and my feelings IN THE SESSION but not in an email.
It's true. I react too quickly. I realized later it was about feeling left alone, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick
If you don't mind me asking, what was in the email that was rude and upset her? Has that happened before?
I am really glad she is using DBT skills with you. They help so much and I think they will really help you.
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I'm writing most of my email here. "I'm by the lake pondering why I had to see you half naked, sauntering off on a walk because you had 45 minutes and why you had to tell me that. I didn't want to see that part of you looking so different and walking away. I guess it's because I really needed a wake-up call that I'm just your job."
Yes, it's happened before, when I left her a voicemail telling her something rude about her being so thin. She said that hurt and did I realize she has feelings too? I also didn't understand why it was so wrong to drive past her house. I think today she said that commenting on how shd dresses or what she's doing outside the session is crossing boundaries.
I did DBT with a different T in a group but my T believes in it too. I have to read my manual again.