View Single Post
 
Old Aug 10, 2016, 09:43 AM
Ellahmae's Avatar
Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
Aranel
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittlePage View Post
I wasn't really sure which forum to post in so I apologize if I choose the wrong one.

Today was my first EMDR session with my therapist who I have been seeing for two months now building a relationship and resources with. She is my first therapist too. I sought out a therapist for some overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. At first I denied any "trauma" but overtime I eventually opened up and admitted to child hood sexual abuse and verbal abuse.

So fast forward to today-

Today was my first EMDR session. I guess it went ok. I really have no clue and was kinda more confused than anything. At first when I brought up the negative beliefs I became emotional but then I very quickly just kinda tuned everything out and with the bilateral stimulation I just let my mind go blank. I didn't really think about anything. No emotions. My question really is more about after. So far all day since then I have just felt numb. Completely numb. I cant really focus on anything and I feel like I am observing myself doing everything. Almost like my body is a shell and I am just watching from inside. I remember feeling like this when I was younger but I just cant seem to shake it today. Is this something normal to expect? I know my therapist said I might experience more emotion or processing but I feel like I kinda have just turned off and am functioning on auto pilot.
This is what happens to me. I ask T about it all the time. She doesn't explain, she just says let it be what it is and let her know whatever it is. It is different for everyone. I always feel like I have no idea of what went on and the zombie exhaustion. It goes away after a little bit but sometimes I now look forward to that calm/slow/empty feeling (so to speak).
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

Thanks for this!
LittlePage