You're not a waste of time! It's hard to talk. I spent several YEARS not talking and my T patiently waiting. I was thinking about that the other night as I was falling asleep. It is our "job" to talk and there really isn't a way for the T to help us like we wish they could. It reminded me of how you have to let babies cry and figure out how to soothe themselves to sleep at some point; with us we have to not talk and fumble with it, trying to figure out "how". It's not something someone can "show" one, it has to be figured out individually.

It's a "growing up"/development problem, something you have to learn; not a "flaw" in your character or anything. No one taught/helped us express our feelings as we were growing up. Treat it like a school, math problem and see if you can think of ways you'd like to approach learning how to solve it?