Hi ziiz...I'm sorry to hear this is having such a profound affect on your life. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with being a highly sexual person - different people have different levels of sexual interest, etc - but when it's affecting your health, etc, then yeah, it's a problem. How I see it, though, is more of being a problem of your position in relation to your sexuality vs the way you've been treated in the past, than simply a matter of hyper sexualization. Not that helps, probably.

I agree with Skeezyks...perhaps the best thing to do is to focus on other parts of your life. I'm much like you in that psychiatric/counselling help don't do much for me. I am also super sensitive to meds and I've been going to counsellors/therapy since 18 (stopped when I was 35 finally). Just feels like I'm on a merry-go-round. I also don't do too well in social situations. I also am a very sexual person and sometimes feel like there is something 'wrong' with me because I always want to be doing it, talking about it, engaging in it, etc, and sometimes I masturbate to the point of pain but when I take a step back I realize I'm not doing it because of anything sexual. I'm doing it as a distraction and for me sex is a great distraction. It takes me out of the discomfort of social situations and how I feel about my body and my life in general. I'm beginning to be really aware of this lately and when I do choose to engage in any kind of sexual thoughts or activity, mindfully checking in with myself about why I'm doing it and what it's about.

The other thing I notice is that you say you haven't had sex yet. I suspect this has a part to do with why you obsess about sexualized things, and also with your growing feeling of not being able to meet potential partners. The truth is, there really is someone out there for everyone, and I don't mean this in a patronizing, 'positive psychology' way. The thing is, maybe it's not the way you look or the way you speak that is causing discomfort in the women you approach; it could just be something physical they are picking up on, whether it's anxiety or your own discomfort or whatever. It's hard to say.

Have you thought about getting involved in things that interest you? Normal, everyday things? Whether it's sports, games, whatever, places where you can meet people...I don't know what your friendships are like (you haven't mentioned those) but it may help you to feel more socially secure, even if it's just online groups because that's all you feel comfortable with for now. I've gotten through some of the darkest times in my life through online support only because I couldn't bear to be around people physically. And yeah, my dark periods last for years too. In fact, I didn't know what happy was until I sobered up in my 30s. (I'm 37 now, for disclosure.)

I could really go on and on about this because I feel like you're telling my story, in a way. I can relate to a lot of what you've said, the hopelessness, all of it. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but if you can benefit from anything I've said, even just to feel like maybe you're not totally alone, so much the better. Feel free to message me in private if you just want someone to talk to about whatever. I'm literally open to discussing anything. Take care.