Hi -Asphyxia-

I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself, but it is good that you've arrived here
Kind of my very first questions would be has/have any thing/s happened in your life to trigger these feelings about yourself and is anything adding to you feeling like this now in your life??
If so, it can be real hard trying to work on the symptoms without confronting causes...........understandably very hard
But you really don't need to feel obliged to talk about anything you don't want to

And..........some things you might want to look at (if you haven't already!!) are whether your expectations of yourself are "reasonable", whether you might be seeing fault where either there is none or you're blowing them up out of proportion, whether you're giving yourself credit where you deserve it to balance out things you're not so happy about, whether you may be misjudging others perception of you...........
And there may be things you'd like to action plan in your life/changes you want to make...........and maybe we can support you/help you feel empowered to make those changes here...........but you know.........I really don't think you're seeing your true value right now either..........

And you've probably heard all of this before , but honestly no-one is perfect........even people who may seem so.........that only means we haven't seen their imperfections not that they aren't there, and some of them may be way more imperfect than you could ever imagine.
The "stupid" bit............we're all going to make mistakes at times, we're all going to get things wrong however hard we try/don't try.........doesn't need to always matter........that's about being human, sometimes all we can do is try to eventually not make those mistakes again.........that can be a (sometimes slow) process, but no saying that it can't be done. And sometimes some mistakes seriously don't matter anyway...........
And "worthless"...........to me every single person has/can have value...........however you measure that...........sometimes it can be about us exploring different ways to measure worth.......
And "fat"...........maybe you want to lose weight...........and if so that's OK........that can be attainable with a regime or support.........but I am always going to argue that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". So maybe it is much more about growing to feel better about yourself from the inside.........??

The "self love" bit though.........I'd say that could be real hard for plenty of people even without self-esteem issues...........so go gentle on yourself hey (??).........if it's not there that's OK, it doesn't mean that you're not worthy of being loved or that you aren't "lovable", that you're not still real valuable
My suggestion, as that can be a massive first goal for a lot of people, would instead be to start with a little more "self-acceptance", moving on towards more self-respect, or liking bits........then more bits..........about yourself..........and there will be bits in there to like.........you may not see them/many of them yet..........but in time..........does that maybe sound a bit more realistic to you??

But, great you've found here.........so keep on posting/threading, hey??



Alison