I am so tired. Following my mother around as she picks up things around the house, toying with them, yelling for me, and then chasing me down, is very exhausting by the end of the day. I then need to settle her down in order to change her diapers. She is even placing items in her mouth, like a tube of diaper ointment. She has now reached the age of the terrible twos. She throws fits when she does not get what she wants. When she is overwhelmed, she begins wailing with her face in her hands. She is at times very very difficult to manage until she settles down.

I am getting stressed out. I need to increase her Seroquel. I may need to get her an emergency appointment with a pdoc. My mood now swings up and down. I am impulsive and driving recklessly. Not a good sign. Then I get real depressed and refuse to move from the sofa. My daughter helps me where she can, but now she is going back to school. So she has additional responsabilities that are demanding, and I am alone while she is in school.

Such is life. Where can I take my mother for an adjustment to her medication? Someone that will see her in short time? The doctor she is seeing works at a public clinic and is booked up. Shall I place her in a psych ward for a med adjustment? This would be a last resort. I doubt if they would take her anyways. Perhaps I can drive her around until she is tired and has settled down?

I cooked a cajun dish with chicken and a rick gravy. While I was doing this, which takes allot of effort, my mother was constantly walking into the kitchen for one reason or another. I cannot understand most of what she says. It does not make any sense to me. Then she wanted to go outside to go home. She lives with me. Then she started banging on the door. I had my daughter take her to the next door neighbor, a freind of hers. I ended up making mistakes with my cooking. At least it turned out to be edible.

I am so tired! I need to learn how to take better care of myself.

Tucson

PS My Power of Attorney permits me to sign her into a psych ward.