It sounds like you have quite a lot of insight into what is going on for you, and about what it is that you are finding challenging. As challenging as it is to experience these triggers and strong emotions you seem to understand what is causing them and what you need to do in order to move through this.
(You actually remind me of me - lots of insight, but really struggle with managing the triggers and overwhelming emotions. Annnnd not wanting to be that 'weak' person who can't deal and just freaks out about stuff )

Anyway, the thing that drew me to respond here was your comment about not wanting to come across as oversensitive or as needing to be treated with kid gloves.
My first thought about that was that it seemed 'judgemental' of yourself. You don't want to be seen as being over sensitive.

It seems to me that when this old stuff gets triggered we are very definitely in that moment 'over sensitive' to something which is not typically a problem for someone else, but is definitely a problem for us. Being 'over sensitive' is just what it is really, isn't it? It's just par for the course when wading through this triggering stuff, and it is honoring yourself more than anything else to 'go gently', to tread carefully, and to treat yourself with kid gloves. That would seem to be healthy, positive self-care when wading through certain minefields, if you ask me.

My gut feeling reading your post is that you know what you need and - since you asked - the only suggestion I would offer would be to arm yourself with a great big old pair of kid gloves and to step gently forth into that big old minefield (making sure you pull back when you need to, stop for rests when required, ask t to step back when needed, and otherwise take care of yourself in whatever ways you need in the moment, including making use of those kid gloves.)