Quote:
Originally Posted by LittlePage
I wasn't really sure which forum to post in so I apologize if I choose the wrong one.
Today was my first EMDR session with my therapist who I have been seeing for two months now building a relationship and resources with. She is my first therapist too. I sought out a therapist for some overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks. At first I denied any "trauma" but overtime I eventually opened up and admitted to child hood sexual abuse and verbal abuse.
So fast forward to today-
Today was my first EMDR session. I guess it went ok. I really have no clue and was kinda more confused than anything. At first when I brought up the negative beliefs I became emotional but then I very quickly just kinda tuned everything out and with the bilateral stimulation I just let my mind go blank. I didn't really think about anything. No emotions. My question really is more about after. So far all day since then I have just felt numb. Completely numb. I cant really focus on anything and I feel like I am observing myself doing everything. Almost like my body is a shell and I am just watching from inside. I remember feeling like this when I was younger but I just cant seem to shake it today. Is this something normal to expect? I know my therapist said I might experience more emotion or processing but I feel like I kinda have just turned off and am functioning on auto pilot.
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Sounds like you need more time in the preparation phase (Phase 2)! YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF EMDR THERAPY!!! So make sure you and your T spend lots of time in one of the initial EMDR therapy phases (Phase 2) which involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need.
In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events, or whatever disturbance(s) on which you’re working. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.