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RiverX said:
It sounds like you're questioning and using your intuitive re is this a just losing energy, or is it healing?


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I think you're spot-on there, RiverX! There is alot to what you said.

First of all, I am beginning to lose alot of my natural energy. Yet I still display the same symptoms, just less severe and dramatic as when it was some 15+ years ago. Each year now, I seem to becoming more docile, yet my BPD thinking patterns still dominate. I have just been fortunate enough to have a few family members and a b/f who are willing to look past the anxieties I express.

Of course, I don't know if I am just clinging because it is part of my illness (the giving up part), or I am just willing to stick it out because I am trying to learn to trust (what Ive learned through therapy).

The unfortunate thing is my intuition has been hijacked by my anxiety, I have come to learn, and always tells me to "RUN... RUN LIKE HELL!"