(((((((((Jinnyann)))))))))))

I am sorry your feeling like this, I was sexually abused as a child by my father and two brothers. My mom knew and did nothing even when I went to her, once she yelled at me and told me it was I who was making them do this, that was it I never went to anyone ever again. I had a relationship with mom, at times great, at times really bad. But I buried all this so deep, that it never hit me that she should of and could of stopped it. It wasn't until she died that everything surfaced, and I am now facing it. I don't have the maternal desires you have for someone to be mom, or act like mom for me, for me it is the fatherly figure I keep searching for!!! I married a man older then I, and I think that was because I was looking for that fatherly figure that I never ever had........so yes I can relate to what is happening with you.........hugs............to you