If you go off your meds, will that affect your probation period? Wouldn't you be in trouble for noncompliance? Not to mention the fact that it probably won't help you get well and get back to your husband. Check the drugs' websites. They may have patient assistance or something like that to help you.

I do understand where you're coming from but I don't think med free is a good idea for you right now. You just came off a serious attempt and as you say, you feel you are at rock bottom. Why make it even worse with med withdrawal and a possible return of symptoms? There's got to be a way to get your meds.