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It's pretty normal to struggle with finding a point between under medication, over medication, motivation and stability when you first start. Just because you feel like this now doesn't mean it will always be like this, especially since you just had a huge loss. Hang in there.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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