Hello mindmadness: Well... STOP! Stop looking this stuff up on the internet! What you are doing is self-abusive & probably addictive in the same sense on-line porn is addictive. If you find you simply cannot muster the willpower to stop, then reach out in real life for help. Consider seeing a counselor or therapist. Perhaps put your computer into the hands of someone in your family, or a trusted friend, to hold for you for a while. (Just say you need help with spending less time on the internet.)

I don't know what it is that is driving you to do this. That would be something for a mental health professional to help you figure out. As I think you already know, this practice is doing you no good. But you are going to have to make the first move if you are going to get beyond it.