Let me update you a little. I set a date to return home. As of September 5th I will go back home and no longer stay the night in this house. I had T this this week. I told the T I realize that I do not want to go home, but I am going home any way. I need to do what I said I would. The time looks right. School is starting, I start homeschooling sometime in the beginning of September. I wanted to get home before the holidays. October is Halloween, November is Thanksgiving and December is X mas. So Labor Day only makes since as far as the calander goes.

The T gave me lots of encouragement. She was glad I realized what I needed. I needed to go home, eventhough I don;t really want to. She also recognized that a few weeks ago I simply didn't know, and at least now I do know. That is something we can work with. She said it is time to start giving credit where credit is due. So I decided I am going home, now I need to tell myself good things and positive things aobut going home.

I ran into a spot that kinda made me sad again. I sat at home this morning and listened to the jar flies and felt the breeze, I had the window open. The trees were swaying and it was jsut so peaceful. Much like when you go to the beach or the mountains on vacation the atmosphere kinda sucks you in and you are saddened to have to leave it, but you know you can't hang on to that forever. Well that is where I am now. I can't hang on to this forever, it is time to move on with life. But I can do what ever I need to in order to bring this peace and serenity with me and create that where I will be going. Recreate that at H's house.

My new goal over the next few weeks is to take the negatives and make them into a positive. So instead of saying I am really gonna miss the peace this house offers, I need to say I will go home and there I will try my best to create and make that kind of peace there.

The T said when I do return I need to make it known how difficult of a transition this has been for me and how unsure I am of returning. He needs to continue to make it so that I want to be there. Any time I hear something I need to say it. I need to say "That is the kind of changing I was hoping to see or this is one of the things that caused me to leave in the first place. If I don't say it then he can't fix it, and if I don't encourage positive change then he will not no to continue. So at least now I have a plan.

Wish me luck. Unfortunately my T is going to be out of town for the next two weeks. I will not have T again until Aug 30th. Please continue to keep me in your prayers. In the next few weeks I may fall and I may need yall to help pick me up again and get me back on the right path.