hey cool that you can email him.

yes, I actually feel like a child there. I told her that. it happens a lot. I feel like I'm learning how to do this for the first time and it makes me feel like a child because of it, I suppose. She wants to be there for me? Then it's okay to need her? Okay, but the feeling of needing her ... oh I feel like a child and a very needy child; it feels like too much.

it sounds like you do well with knowing what you're feeling and that's great!