hey. i'm way scared of emotions too. i can chat a lot about reasons and stuff but when it comes to emotions i just crumble. can't find the balance (don't know what it is) between dissociating from emotions and spewing them out. not sure how i'm meant to feel them or express them and i feel like they have a life of their own sometimes if i start to feel them.

feelings are hard. really really really hard. i think they are hard for most people. feelings.. and interpersonal relationships.. the hardest things in the world. its scary sometimes talking and feeling feelings. but... sometimes its kinda exhilerating or comforting or releiving too.

hard. so hard.