Hi Brasucasulu, I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and that you went through those things in your past. I think its great that you want to work on yourself and grow, from what it sounds like, and deal with the way you feel. Sometimes therapy can be helpful. It is for me, anyway. Other things that could help: reading self help books, doing things you enjoy, talking to a friend, or posting here. I think that trauma is something that runs deep, and its not something that you get well from in say, a day. It takes time, so be kind to yourself.