Miswimmy1 - Ack. I'm sorry, I've been there too, and it's a rotten feeling... especially when the reason they give you seems lame and you know you're not getting the whole story.

I had one therapist that I was referred to, saw for 3 sessions, thought we were doing therapy... and at the end of the session (!) she told me that she thought I needed immediate help, and she was going to be leaving for a 2-week vacation and therefore wasn't available (ha... you know, for those 2 weeks!), so I needed to find someone else. No referrals or anything. It was incredibly *lame*.

I found it really hurtful too. One thing to keep in mind, sometimes they really can't tell you the reason, because it's either personal (i.e. your issues overlap theirs, and they don't think they can treat you effectively) or because of confidentiality.

So, for example, a T might do this if...

- You remind her of someone that she has strong feelings about (good or bad) - to the point that she doesn't think she can be effective. For example, you might remind her of her dear daughter who is currently ill that she's constantly worried about.

- If you disclosed anything that hit on her issues that haven't yet been dealt with.

- If it turns out that the T treats someone close to you. She couldn't tell you, due to confidentiality, but would have to make up an excuse. Or, if she has any kind of personal/professional relationship with people in your family, she might not be comfortable taking you on. You'd hope she'd realize this before taking your money for a first session, but... *ahem* clearly sometimes that doesn't happen.

BTW I kind of wish they'd offer a refund, or at least a partial refund, in cases like this. You probably didn't get any real therapeutic benefit from meeting with her, one session doesn't seem like enough to do anything other than check whether you both think you can work together. It sort of bugs me that Ts are willing to take your money, but then send you on your way. I really like the idea of Ts who do free initial consultations, even if they're much shorter, so that you can meet and ask questions and decide if you like each other, but I haven't seen any of those in my area.

Good luck with your search. If it helps, you have the same rights to be just as picky as these Ts about who you work with... so make sure you ask anything you need to know, and listen carefully to their answers!