i dont know how long i can keep on like this..
whatever is wrong with me is really destroying me..
this is so hard..
why am i so broken...?
its so hard trying to pretend like everything is well...
when you dont even know where you are going or why you are here..
you cant remember anything...

am i already dead? is this purgatory?
endless self relization cycle of torture reminding you how pathetic you are...
just as bad as the first time because you cant remember...
and you cant fix it because its part of you and it will never go away...

and i still hear 'it doesnt matter' .. no one is going to believe or help anyway..
what could anyone do..? dont think you can put something so fragile and shattered back together... whats the point in trying..?

it hurts too much trying to live a life broken into pieces...
i would say times up it seems, but then again time doesnt exist apparently...
so tired