My gender has keep switching on me....wouldn't be that much of a problem if I didn't feel gender dysphoria.

So I'm female at birth, when my bpd began to worsened when I was a teenage my gender identity became turbulent. Here's what was happening, I started to develop more masculinity into my appearance, unknowingly at first then knowingly. I actually shaved me head, I thought for sure I'm a ftm transgender. That wouldn't be much of a problem if I didn't get certain identity disturbances almost like I had dissociated my past transgender identity, completely changing my appearance and my masculinity into being more feminine/womanly in a matter of minutes!!!!! It put spurts of doubt in my mind, whats going on? When I was a woman I'd say for sure, I'm a woman that old me was just fooling around I'm not transgender. Then I become a man/masculine I'd start searching places to get hormone replacement therapy done. The identities become so dissociated that it drives me insane, I self-medicate with drugs to calm myself. My therapist told me why can't you be both genders? The things is I don't want to live most of my life hating my womanly body and experiencing sever gender dysphoria.

Also, it becomes confusing when I relate to woman, like it questions me being a transgender male. I think there is a deeply rooted problem, I need your help guys, what do identity disturbances mean, I really don't want to physically transition and then regret it, if you know what I mean. Is this more of a deeply rooted problem, how should I assess this my therapist is no help.If you could give resources that'd be great as well!!!