I've read your last post about three of four times trying to figure out what it is you want me to understand. Yes, I see you have been giving some serious thought to your situation and yes, I see where there may be some movement on your part. I understand completely how you feel because I have felt that way myself several times in my life. It hurts like the devil and you think you can't go on living especially when things around you aren't going well, but guess what? You have to make up your mind to the facts, talk to yourself about it and the pain will ease. You
will make it, you
will live without your married woman. It will take time to get past this but you can make time your friend.
It must be more difficult for you to get over this woman when you have the exact opposite waiting for you at home. The best thing for you is to do the best you can for your girlfriend. It is
not up to you to make her better. It's completely up to her, whether she wants to right now or not. It's her choice.
Your choice is to decide how to help your girlfriend. If I was your mother or grandmother, I would tell you "Send her home with specific instructions to get pscychological help, then take care of yourself!

You need the woman that you will spend the rest of your life with to be free of all encumberments and already be physically and mentally healthy and the both of you should agree on what you hold most dear in your life. She should already be what you want in a woman. It's not your place to try and make her into the woman you want nor is it her place to try to change you!" Then I would give you a hug, pat you on the back, give you a kiss and tell you "Now, go live your life, mijo!"
<font color=blue>This above all: To thine own self be true. --Shakespeare</font color=blue>
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.