I've had a lot happen recently, and since I've dated and broken up with my last gf, I have lost motivation for everything in life.
It's not that I was like this before, I was motivated to move far away to Texas leave everything behind.
Now I just don't care, I feel I've lost myself of who I am entirely and just forget in some kinda melancholy and peaceful state, but it's disheartening too, because I feel my life is dissolving around me and I'm the one self destructing by shutting down entirely.
I have no one to go to. So instead, I am much more guarded and want time to be alone in public or anywhere.

I even wanted to go on a trip driving through the desert alone soon in New Mexico to pretend I don't exist and my life never mattered and just sit there and live.
Simply I've cut out from reality tuned out of my surroundings. Just stopped caring what everyone thought and stopped letting others tell me how I should feel. I just simply ignore everything and everyone.

It's not really indifference, it's more inactive shutting out I've achieved this before in other means, but I just never really got so tired of the BS I shut out entirely.
Nothing bothers me anymore much, I just stopped feeling and caring and shut out my emotions. Just feeling somewhat peaceful and quiet.