I am currently researching a new therapist and I want to choose somebody who is competent. I have experienced maternal/paternal transference with the majority of therapists in the past which sometimes (worryingly) bordered on erotic transference. I know that sounds sick but it was as though the intimacy of the relationship and the transference was causing the ET becauseI would never have found any of them attractive or want that kind of intimacy if I had met them in real life and besides, they were all the same age group as my parents!!! Also, I'm not bisexual.

Taking my history of transference (maternal/paternal/erotic) in therapy into account, I want to make sure that this time round I choose a therapist who is competent in dealing with it. So how should a therapist deal with transference?

I understand that it's both sensible and ethical for the therapist and/or client to decide not to embark on a therapeutic relationship if there is an attraction there from the start. However, I have been reading the policies of some therapists who say that should attraction develop during the course of therapy, the client will be referred to another appropriate therapist. This suggests to me that the therapist is unwilling and unable to handle transference in the relationship, even when it arises at a later point and does not stem from a physical attraction. Is this how a therapist should practice? Surely it would be more beneficial to the client to talk about the transference and explore what it is telling them before referring them out to someone else?