I know how that feels. im only 29. but the person i depend on has just been diagnosed with cancer and is pretty far stages.. also my sleep is all messed up as well.

have you been to a neurologist or had a sleep study done yet? if not, they can pinpoint whats going on usually.

i never go into the REM cycle sleep stage. i thought it was just insomnia until they did a sleep study and found that.

im on a lot of meds, but two are due to sleeping and awaking. they have me on seroquel for sleep at night, and vyvanse to wake me up in the morning and to feel awake. both meds interacted in harmful ways when i was a kid. but are very helpful now.
maybe they could try a combo something like that?

i also take hydroxyzine hcl (vistaril (sp?)) at the same time with my sleep med, its to lesser the skin ichyness i have but also without it, ive noticed i have less success at sleeping.

im currently on an EEG for an inhome 72hr straight one. and according to that i slept a total of 3 hours last night. but 7hrs the day before, and 5hrs the night before that.