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Old Aug 12, 2016, 11:55 AM
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woundedsoul woundedsoul is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: VIRGINIA
Posts: 126
I'm not officially diagnosed with BPD either, but according to the online quizzes, I don't think I could be more positive for this diagnosis. It totally fits me. I am super sensitive about what people say and think about me. If they don't call or text me back, or show up for something that we had planned, I take it very personally. I've always seem to have friends that end up blowing me off, really good friends, without any explanations, and I obsess over what the reason is forever. I always wonder if it's something that I did, and can I fix it? Is it just me that people just don't like me and that's why this always happens to me. When I'm around a group of people, if there are a couple of people talking about laughing with each other, I automatically start thinking that they must be talking about me. I know that I'm thinking like I'm completely insane, but my brain won't stop. I moved around a lot when I was young, and I was always the new kid, and it was difficult especially after being picked on the first half part of my life where I grew up for being overweight. So even though I lost the weight, I still always felt fat and unattractive (even now I still struggle with these insecurities), but all I really wanted my whole life was a close group of friends. I still don't have that, since we're a military family, we don't stay in one place forever, and where we are right now my family hasn't really loved. So I completely understand what you're going through. It's just something we have to deal with.
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Although I still have a lot of sadness in my soul, the very thought that I have so many great friends here like all of you to support me through this and help me to heal my woundedsoul, allows me to continue on my journey to a mendedsoul, that is finally able to behhappy again. And all of you will have helped in that, so thank you!
CJ