Hi -Asphyxia-

I'm so sorry you've been treated that way, and I think that makes the way you feel about yourself very understandable
To have instilled in you the concept/belief that you are "less than........" from so young by so many.........
And I'm guessing that when people are complimenting you you're thinking things like "they don't really know me", "what do they know", "they're just trying to be nice", "they're patronising me", "it's just a throw away comment", "they've got ulterior motives"................
But you know what..........whether you believe that person means/feels/is real about the compliment or not at that particular time or not..........doesn't have to make it less true in itself. So.........I'm not even asking you to believe/have faith in their comments right now.........but more to see the positives in/for yourself.
And despite you thinking there aren't any .........wouldn't you agree with me that it can take a lot of real strength and courage to take the step to post online about things you're most sensitive about??!!
And you've done that!!!! So from me.........real respect.........and I hope you accept massive kudos for that and give yourself some too!!!
And that's only one thing you probably haven't been giving yourself credit for

As for the abusers/bullies..........you know that they really don't deserve to be dictating how you feel about yourself/the way you're living, right?
It's a sign of their deficits, not deficits in you that they behaved that way towards you. No-one deserves to be abused or bullied, you didn't deserve to be abused/bullied
So let their problems remain with them, you don't deserve to carry their burden, you've suffered enough from their deficits

And it's now time to celebrate you, who you really are, away from their ****
And.........we've kicked off with.........you've shown a lot of strength and courage posting on here.........that's undeniable..........next.............just something/anything..........could be "stuff you've managed to make it through"..........could be pride in standing up for yourself at some/any time.........could be a caring act you've done.........could be honesty (like on here!!!!) you've shown............could be you quite like your eyes............could be anything..........but just something, hey??
You are not a reflection of their inadequacies..........you are you, someone to be valued

Alison