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Originally Posted by UglyDucky
I hate to be asking this question because there's usually so much background to get through so someone can provide an answer...however, this will be short and filled with hope that you all can help, even if it's only a little.
I have a complicated background...some childhood trauma that I remember, but nothing that I would consider epic; abandonment issues, depression and anxiety. There is a big chunk of my childhood that I don't recall. Nothing. Not. One. Thing.
I've been in therapy for a year and have formed an attachment to my T. Everything seems to be going well, except that I can't recall my infancy through to seven years old. The problem is that my feelings and reactions to my T leaving town or making some change in my appt. time causes monumental anxiety and serious depression.
Now, I'm frustrated and thinking there must be something I'm overlooking. T keeps asking, "don't you wonder why you have such reactions?" Of course, I do, but I can't tell T something I don't recall.
So...does anyone know if it's possible to be/have DID and not know? I'm past my 20s and I don't have any other lapses in memory (other than short dissociative moments in therapy). Any thoughts, opinions, suggestions are welcome. I feel I can't continue this roller coaster much longer.  Thanks, so much... |
yes it is possible to have any mental disorder including DID with out knowing you have a mental disorder. there are many people in this world that discover they have a mental disorder after their treatment provider has them go through diagnostic evaluations for mental disorders.
that said it can be normal to not remember ones early childhood. the brain is an amazing thing that does not always remember every thing. in the grand scheme of things usually what a brain will store in a persons memory is things that are important to that person. I know many people who are completely normal who do not remember their early childhood simply because things they went through just were not that important to them at the time. for example if someone living in poverties whole survival depends upon scavenging for food they will remember looking for food but they might not remember what their siblings did for playing, or what their parents were like or what they did in school in kindergarten, first or second grade. they may not remember their birthdays during the years their survival depended upon scavenging for food, getting food and eating was that persons important part of their life.
my point it for many people it can be completely normal to not remember anything from their early childhood.
not remembering childhood can also be part of medication side effects, physical health problems, stress, lack of sleep ...gosh there are so many different things including mental disorders of all kinds having memory problems can be related to.
my suggestion is go according to what ever your own treatment providers have diagnosed you with, they are the ones that can best say why you are having this memory problem and what to do about it.