Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
Nobody is effing answering so I will.
I knew about some of it, but had forgotten it. The re-remembering of that was triggered by the possibility of someone we cared about being abused by the same person.
Other stuff by other abusers we (front group) didn't know about at all until we were in therapy.
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I am sorry Luce; it was the same issue for me again - couldn't think of a question worth asking though I did want to answer the question. I knew about a great deal of the abuse but not the primary and most prolific abuser. I was twenty-seven when I discovered the missing pieces. Here's how it happened:
I knew something was wrong with me. Who (barring alcohol or drug usage) suddenly doesn't know where they are, how they got there and what day it is on a regular basis? Who goes to sleep and wakes up and their entire room is colored with crayons they didn't know they had? So yeah, I knew...but I didn't know what it was that I didn't know. I had been told about my strange behavior during those times I didn't remember - 'it was like you were someone else'. So I set out to figure out who this someone else was.
I decided to talk to whomever it was for the last fifteen minutes of every day for thirty days. I had trouble figuring out where to focus my 'talk' and so I picked a stuffed animal, sat it on a chair and talked to the stuffed (mountain lion) animal. Thirty days came and went without any headway and I was about to end the experiment. I joked to it about wasting seven and a half hours that I'd never get back (fifteen minutes a day for thirty days) and surmised that I'd probably done stupider things with seven and a half hours but if I had, I probably couldn't remember it. Then I said good night and turned out the lights. The moment I did, she screamed. She was afraid of the dark. I felt the fear and choked on it.
I threw on the light and well...it was awkward. She was so very angry but wanted to reach back but didn't know how. I asked questions, made awkward jokes...and failed epically. She just kept getting angrier. I told her that I would shut up and stay with her. The anger began to subside and my previous questions hung in the air. Suddenly without warning, she played the tapes and I saw and remembered everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
Are you aware of any of your other family members having a dissociative disorder?
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No. To the best of my knowledge, they do not. I am sorry that I do not have a question...
edited: OMG I thought up a question! Woo-hoo!! Okay, I hear all the time from other posters that so and so is a protector but for us (there are only two of us) today we both protect each other. Is there anyone else for whom their system has morphed into mutual protection?