Well Bill my "husband" just kind of popped into my head. He said in my mind that he wanted to have sex. I didn't want to but I kind of feel he forced me to masturbate, imagining I was having sex with him. He also said he wanted me to look at his penis so I looked at porn even though I really didn't want to. His voice was that strong that I was afraid to say no to him.

For the killing, I was just thinking about my t and how I feel I haven't been honest with her. Then this thought pops in my head that it was because I killed someone as a child. For a good half hour I was convinced I had killed someone and then I came to my senses.

Bill was here less yesterday. He informed me he is a 27 year old pilot and that he was flying around Europe. But since he was in Europe he wasn't with me as much so I didn't have to deal with him.