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Old Aug 13, 2016, 09:20 AM
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Trace14 Trace14 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,011
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisWayOut View Post
I'm not sure when I was officially dx with ptsd. Several people I worked with both professionally and personally implied trauma played a huge role in my life, but the official dx from pdocs had been borderline, major depression, and anxiety for a long time. It wasn't until I started seeing a dedicated trauma therapist 7 years ago that a ptsd dx was ever discussed with me. Flashbacks have been an issue since I was 17 (when I left my abusive household) and I was always open about them with my treatment providers. That was 13 years before anyone mentioned ptsd (with 12 of those 13 years in therapy)... I've been dissociative most my life, but again, it wasn't discussed until I was in my 30's.

Even now that the dx is more accurate, treatment has been slow for a few reasons; I wasn'twasn't stable enough to do any really trauma work until about 3 years ago, I didn't have a stable therapist after I moved (switching therapists every 3 months makes it hard to get anywhere), and the move brought up a while host of intense symptoms... I'm back with the trauma t who introduced the idea of ptsd & we're finally, slowly getting somewhere.

I definitely agree with the previous posters who stated that trauma work is highly individualized. I saw one had touted dbt being something that helps everyone... I have to disagree. I think it can help a lot of people, but it can be quite traumatizing to others. I've tried dbt 7 or 8 times in the past 10 years, and each time was highly triggering. Regardless of how "stable" I was at the time it started, I always ended up highly dissociative and hospitalized. I've learned it's definitely not an option for me... It's all about trying different things and seeing what works for you. Hopefully you don't have to run the gamut of options before finding what works though. It's certainly easier to pinpoint what *doesn't work*, as those indicators pop up rather fast most of the time. It's been a much harder task finding what really makes a positive impact for me, rather than just doesn't send me into a tailspin...
I totally get what you are saying here and agree that you have to find the right fit with a T as well as a healing modality. DBT has been very triggering for me also, thus the dissociating through the classes, but I want to give it a try and see. Maybe something will click and all of this information will make sense and help. At first I thought this was something that just started after finding Dad. One situation, caused it all, so that shouldn't be that hard to fix, right? Well now I know that it went much deeper than that and it's been something I have been dealing with a long time. Even though I thought I had dealt with those trauma memories already in a healthy way, and filed them away. I may give EMDR another chance once I get to a place where I feel I can. I guess I'm just thankful that I was functional for so long with it *sigh* I do wish I could get over this hump though. I'm tired of working so hard at it and with it controlling me instead of the other way around. Maybe in time
Hugs from:
ThisWayOut, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote